Tuesday, March 31, 2015

Holy Week

One of the gifts of this ministry is the joy of having people who care,  share in this ministry.They support those who are incarcerated through financial assistance, donations of spiritual reading or the gift of prayer. Marian Korth brings her gift of music and plays the organ for us...and then she blogs about it!

Tuesday, March 3, 2015

May All Be Well...

You were right…I needed to reach out to my boys to explain that I thought I'd be out
by now to call but I'm not so I wrote to explain that I loved them and I'd make up my
absence soon. It took me awhile because you can't see through eyes filled with tears
to write. But I got through it and felt better for it…It really is easier for me to just
block all of it out. Though I'm happy I wrote to them I'm also in so much pain right
now I can't stop crying. My children have always been my life. I was hoping I could
put all emotion on pause while in here but I'm not capable of doing it for too long.
And when the dam breaks it hurts so bad. I seriously feel like my heart is bleeding
and it fills my chest to where I can't breathe and it overflows out of my eyes but it
comes out in tears instead of blood…Any ideas how to cope till the lawyers figure
out my destiny for the future?
Grief is one of those life experiences that we work hard to avoid. But is best just felt. This young woman came to our Women's Spirituality Group intent on not feeling her pain. Thankfully it became very quickly apparent that she was in a safe place in our group and could begin to feel her grief in small amounts. For people who are incarcerated it is very difficult to be vulnerable. The jail is full of hurting people who have not healed enough from their own pain to allow others to feel their pain. Mockery is often the response to tears and true grief. How to lament? We work hard as chaplains to help people grieve as safely as possible. Sometimes I say it is part of my "job" to make people cry. I sincerely don't mean to, but when the tears begin to flow I know healing is at work. I like to say that tears get rid of toxins and truly felt tears are like an antidepressant… or chocolate. There are no easy answers, just the hard, honest work of grief.
I want:
Help me to learn forgiveness of myself & for others
I wish the anger would go away
I am tired of being angry
I yearn for peace in my heart
Help me to find patience
I am so sensitive
I feel everything
I crave solitude
I am ready
Women's Spirituality, January 2015

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